You Can Have Likes or You Can Have Money: A Reality Check for Sex Pros & Students

After two decades in this field, watching countless talented sex professionals struggle while others thrive, I want to share something that might sting a little. But like the work we do together, the most transformative insights often come wrapped in uncomfortable truths.

You can chase likes, or you can build wealth. You cannot do both effectively.

I've watched brilliant practitioners with deep somatic understanding, years of training, and genuine gifts for this work... barely scraping by. Meanwhile, others with less clinical expertise but better business foundations are booked solid, commanding premium rates, and creating the impact they dreamed of.

The difference isn't talent. It's strategy.

In our work, we talk about creating safe containers for transformation. Your website is that container for your business. Social media platforms? They're borrowed spaces where the rules change without notice, where your carefully crafted content can disappear, where algorithms decide who sees your wisdom. For those of us with a risky business model, this is a foolish strategy. 

Your website is different. It's yours. Completely.

I've seen too many colleagues lose years of content when platforms changed policies around sexual health education. Don't let that be you.

Instead of giving content to Zuck for damn near free (yes, I make about $150 a month on Meta and it's still not worth the work) this is what it looks like in practice:

• Professional domain that reflects your authority
• Content that demonstrates your depth of knowledge
• Clear pathways for people to work with you
• Systems that work while you sleep

Think of it as creating the digital equivalent of your practice space—intentional, professional, and entirely under your control.

Visibility without strategy is just noise. 

Every person who finds your website is someone whose life you might transform. But they have to find you first. Whether you are just getting started or finally starting to figure it out, the slow, steady approach is the only one that works. Going viral is no longer #goals. Today it is much more important to be findable by the right people at the right moment in their journey.

Create content that answers the questions your ideal clients are actually asking and that helps build SEO that helps people discover you when they're ready.

Create Where You Control the Narrative

I want you to imagine something with me. You spend hours crafting the perfect post about sexual trauma recovery—nuanced, compassionate, clinically sound. You share it on social media, and it reaches 47 people because the algorithm decided your expertise isn't "engaging" enough.

Now imagine that same piece living on your website, searchable, shareable, working for you 24/7, reaching exactly the people who need it most.

Your content strategy should flow. Create the full, rich content on your website first, then share excerpts, insights, or teasers everywhere else. Make sure any posts anywhere always guide people back to your digital home

This honors both your expertise and your business needs.

Once your content lives safely on your platform, then we scatter those seeds far and wide. But notice the order—create first in your space, then share everywhere else. Create posts that include LinkedIn articles for professional credibility, Instagram posts that educate and intrigue as well as podcast appearances where you can speak at length.

Each touchpoint should feel like a breadcrumb leading back to your deeper work.

Email as a BOUNDARY

In our field, we understand the power of consistent, boundaried relationship. Your email list is exactly that—people who've said yes to ongoing connection with you and your work.

These aren't just subscribers. They're people who trust you enough to let you into their inbox regularly. Honor that trust, and it will become the foundation of your financial security. Building this relationship means exclusive content that makes subscription worthwhile, like consistent newsletters that blend education with inspiration. You will start to earn with clients when you find a way to teach and guide in your email while creating a clear pathway from subscriber to client (valuable lead magnets that solve real problems.)

Early in my career, I got caught up in the numbers game. Followers, likes, shares—I thought they meant something. Honestly, 8 years ago on social media they meant way more than they mean today. You need to know this because today if you are using social media like we did 8, 5 or hell even 2 years ago, you are spinning wheels in the internet mud. I have colleagues with massive followings who couldn't fill a workshop or sellout a retreat if they tried. Meanwhile, others with smaller but more engaged audiences had waiting lists months long.

The difference? Some are performing for an audience while others are building relationships with clients.

Engagement doesn't equal income. Attention doesn't equal transformation. Followers don't equal financial freedom.

Are the right people finding you? Are they becoming clients? Are you creating sustainable income from your expertise? Have you built networks of referral partners who understand and value their work? Does your ecosystem might include medical professionals and therapists who need your expertise? Wellness practitioners serving similar populations or other business professionals who can support your growth?

If you are going to make content keep this in mind: the best marketing for sexologists isn't marketing at all—it's education. When you teach, you demonstrate competence, build trust, and create desire for deeper work. Your content should address real concerns with nuanced understanding while demonstrating your depth (without overwhelming.) Use social media as a tool to create safety for people to explore sensitive topics, while positioning yourself as the guide they need.

The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything

Stop thinking like a martyr-helper and start thinking like a healer with a business. Your expertise deserves fair compensation. Your knowledge can transform lives. But only if you build the systems to reach and serve the people who need you most. This means shifting from:

• Hoping people will find you → Making yourself findable
• Giving everything away → Offering valuable free content that leads to paid work
• Competing with other practitioners → Collaborating and referring
• Apologizing for your rates → Confidently pricing your expertise
• Working harder → Working more strategically

Sex pros who thrive aren't necessarily the most talented clinically. They're the ones who understand that having a sustainable business allows them to do their best clinical work.

When you're not worried about money, you can focus completely on your clients. When you have systems that work, you can be present for transformation. When you're building wealth through your expertise, you can invest in your own continued growth and learning.

This isn't about choosing money over mission. It's about understanding that sustainable income serves your mission.

Build the business that allows your clinical excellence to flourish. Create the systems that let your wisdom reach the people who need it most.

Your success serves everyone—including the clients whose lives you'll transform.

Now, take a breath. Feel into what resonates. And take the first step toward building the practice that honors both your expertise and your worth.

The world is waiting for what only you can offer. Make sure they can find it.